Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[mishka422]

Yeah, probably not the best way to go.

This is the new reality, such as your H sees it, and he is going to be selfish in the extreme...count on it. He will tell himself and you that the kids 'will be just fine' and 'they'll bounce back'. Common phrases that WAH's use to comfort themselves...expect it.

Right now, you are doing the right things for yourself. Talking to L's, making changes around your home, being there for your boys. All positive things. Like you said, you know what NOT to do so.....STOP IT! It's very difficult to put on a strong, happy face around everyone but you need to in order to get your life in order. Cry only when you are completely alone and can guarantee that no one will walk in on you - find one. My favorite spots were the shower and alone in the car.

Most of all, get a social life in order pronto! Are your kids in school yet? Get involved in the PTSO, club activities, find a local women's group or a book club. Get a network going. You are in a new city and opportunities abound but you must seek them out, they won't come to you. Try meetup.com. BE PROACTIVE!

I'm sending huge hugs out to you. You know we all understand the pain you are going through and we are here for you.

Blessings!

Michelle

P.S. - I don't know your religious background, but there is a wonderful group called Divorcecare that is a nationwide group run mostly through churches that helps you to deal with the stages of S and D. You can search their website for locations near you.