You're right about that - the built up resentment that was not expressed is exactly what led to all of this. (Not necessarily over him grabbing a drink after work, I've never cared about that. Not like he ever came home drunk.)
It was part of the reason I didn't want to ask: didn't want to appear to be going back to the old way of doing things. After all, if he wanted to just avoid those types of questions he could just take out cash in the future to use. I don't want to drive him underground.
He didn't appear resentful at all, so that's good. I just still don't think he's in a place where he truly cares about my feelings yet. He's self-centered in that he wants me to be OK because he doesn't want my not being OK to affect him. There's a difference, of course. How to get him back to caring about my feelings is the big question of the moment.
It's going to be time soon for a further discussion of things and that plan for rebuilding the M we talked about upthread. I'm trying to be patient and not force it: not because I am not aware that I deserve it - but because I think we need another week or so of positivity before serious discussion of that.
