My W grew up in a house where she had a completely passive father and her mother was controlling, hyper-critical, fault finding, blaming others for her problems, my way or the highway thinking,
Childhood issues, controlling mother, hormones at work.
Those boundaries are neccessary to rebalance the marriage and life in general.
Originally Posted By: steady
I believe my W is NOT attracted to a healthy male who can draw and enforce solid and healthy boundaries. I have watched her reaction as I do it. Yes, I get more respect, but I do not believe it increases her attraction for me.
I would add, that is right now. Part of the cause of this crisis is this changing beliefs. The WA knows right from wrong. She married you, were you weak then? When the crisis ends, she needs that rock that person with the boundaries to pull her through the crisis. That is the job of the LBS. To be the stanchion, to lead the way. As the LBS goes through their stages the last are forgiveness, renewal and living again. To get to that last stage you must go through all the stages. Their are no shortcuts, no easy ways around. Only straight over the mountain.
