Sleeping on it didn't happen. W came home from 1st grade conference, and we sat outside talking about it. Then I gave her the Gucci speech. I wasn't angry, defensive, just calm and matter of fact. She listened, and then said that she had no idea what she wanted to do. That she was confused, and that she thought leaving now would be a decision based on fear (something our C said to avoid). Not fear of finances, or of being independent enough to survive on her own, but fear about our relationship.
She talked about some of the ideas the C had today; go stay a weekend with some friends or family, to try and gain some clarity. Stay at a local hotel. Etc. I asked her what she would do if she was approved for the apt complex she liked; she said she didn't know, that she dreaded finding out.
She said that when we're together as a family, she's happiest. Not her and our girls, but all four of us. And that feeling makes her want to stay, that it's very strong. She also said that she's afraid of being hurt, but also afraid of burning bridges in our relationship by leaving.
I didn't try to persuade her at all. I probably did my best listening and validating ever.
Then she said she wanted to continue MC. I was in shock at this point, because I had expected her to say she wanted to move out ASAP. She said she really liked our C, trusted him, and thought he might have some ideas about how to resolve things. I said that I would like to go back as well, and that I would take care of making an appt.
Then she talked more, asking me about things like the jealousy I've had over some of her friends; how I felt about us. She talked about the changes I've made, and how she really liked them. But that she doesn't know how to rekindle feelings; to forgive.
I tried my best not to sell myself. Just to explain when she had a question, and listen to her.
We laughed a lot. Made all sorts of sexual jokes. Then it was going on 3 hours, so we went to bed. As she was getting ready for bed, I said that with all the weight she's lost, the real test was if she could wear her old lingerie. This is stuff that's been long forgotten, but she got really enthused about it. I know this was pursuing...
So she gets it all out, goes over each items history, and when I said a red camisole with g-string looked nice, she looked at me and then walked into the bathroom to try it on. In the past she's been really insecure about her body, and would never model anything. She tells me to get a quick glimpse because she's not going to show it for long, but I tell her to come closer.
She steps out of the bathroom, about ten feet away. I say (and gesture) closer, then closer again. She stopped out of reach, probably afraid I'd try and touch the merchandise. I looked her up and down and told her she looked incredible. Then she turned around and showed me how the g-string looked. Needless to say I enjoyed it. She's more beautiful today than when I married her.
Then she came to bed, and we talked for about 20 more minutes. I know that some of you may think that I should have made a move, but it really wasn't right. We haven't kissed, barely held hands, and it would have ruined the night. I'm not sure what she was trying to do with the modeling show, perhaps "tag" me without having to have sex?
