Oddly, this should be hammered in sooner on this board. However, if it was, few would like the 1st option and bail before they got to the personal growth where they could even understand it's truth.
It's funny you said that, because that's one of the thoughts I had when I wrote it.
Yes, there is a downside to improving ourselves. People will disappear. When I quit drinking at 24 all my drinking buddies dropped one by one because I no longer went out and partied. I began hanging out with people who didn't drink like addicts. When I drank I thought everyone drank the way we did.
When I began looking inside of myself and making my way through the myriad tunnels to clean out crap, well, I lost my friends. I was a reflection of what they weren't doing. So they silently walked away over time. Again, I started being surrounded by people who were into doing what I was doing.
People who evolve outgrow the people in their lives that aren't growing. It's a force of nature and a byproduct of evolving.
This happens in any relationship dynamic. I've seen it repeated over and over.
This is why a S can come back, but if both people don't find and resolve their baggage which caused the problems (the symptoms of the underlying dysfunctional R skills) they will never have a healthy R.
I have a belief this is why we are attracted to the people we are attracted to. It happens at a totally unconscious level and has everything to do with issues which need to be resolved in order for us to grow into more complete, integrated, healthy and vibrant people. My opinion only based on my own experiences and observations of people I have known.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
