Very good work. Growing those nuts really made a difference. You did very well tonight.
As far as the reciprocation of affection, well, like everything else, you'll get different opinions on that. It is a personal decision. That is, it is your personal decision.
It sounds like you know your wife pretty well. You want to avoid statements such as "I love you no matter what". If love is unconditional, why should she act right? You want her to understand that you love her, but you demand certain things from her, such as not fooling around. And she CAN lose your love. Perhaps she has already lost your love. If she wants it, she has to earn it, because once lost, it is very hard to revive love. Love is serious, it is not just getting swept up on a cloud of emotion that carries you along. The only reason all those fairy tales end, "and they lived happily ever after", is because the real story would take all night and you want to get to the end and put your kid to sleep! There is no happily ever after! She won't have it with you or anyone else. Life is hard work.
I am very pleased that she agreed to Retrouvaille. They will speak to both of you before you go. Don't worry. They are very experienced in dealing with confused spouses. They will encourage her and make her feel safe.
Even if you live separated for the 3 weeks, that is fine. Maybe for the best. It gives both of you a chance to experience time alone. I hope she is not lying about dating others. Unfortunately, there's a lot of lying that goes on at this stage. There is nothing you can do about that, but keep your awareness up and your emotions in check. Try to keep things on a steady keel, business-like is good. You don't want her to see you as a mean person, but you are not her doormat. Conduct yourself with dignity. And most of all, no more scenes in front of your little boy!
