Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Night went pretty well.

She was wearing her ring.

I didn't get everything that I wanted and she didn't get everything she wanted. We agreed to (not easily):

1. 50/50 schedule for the next two weeks.
2. We will go to mediation within the next two weeks
3. She agreed to go to Retrouvaille with me.

The night went reasonably well. She got really emotional a few times saying the same lines that I predicted - 'you don't deserve 50% of his time, you weren't a good dad, you were never around'. I almost called that verbatim.

I'm seeing now that it is easy to predict how a WAW will react to almost every situation. It's like being on the other team and having their playbook. You know all the stops and gaps. The WAW has your playbook too, or so she thinks, because you've 'never changed' and she thinks she can predict your reactions to everything, and by doing so she knows what plays to play on the 1 yard line to win. What she doesn't know is you have the new and improved DB playbook. If you can just get your team together, teach them the plays and strategies, and get them working together out of the new and improved playbook, you'll have a shot at winning. But, if you play with the old one, you're likely to not block that gap while she trots into the endzone. When you team runs on the field, they don't need to be running out of a Cheeseless Tunnel.

No ma'am. I'm a different person now. I won't react to your crying and emotional outbursts with trying to calm you down and comfort you. I'm going to let you have those because frankly, you need them to feel this rip in fabric of a M.



She asked if she could have a hug about 5 times tonight, not because she was sad, but because something good happened (son playing, laughing jokes). She also initiated ILY and kisses as well, on the lips. This is where I'm confused because I read so many threads about S that move out, and it's OK to reciprocate affection if you are pursued. I thought that if she is pursuing affection that it would be wise to reciprocate. In my situation, is that wronng? I don't feel it was a 'comfort hug' but a genuine affectionate love. I really need some advice on this.... if she approaches me for a hug what should I do at this point? Deny her that? I'm only asking because I am really confused. If I deny her a hug, how do I do that in a 'lovingly detached' way?