Re-evaluating what transpires in DB also requires some flexibility as DBing is not a one-size fits all scenario whereas you can adjust accordingly as situations arise. No two days are alike on the DB path. Even some of the same techniques do not work on certain days due to unseen or unknown variables that are in play. The key is not to expect the same results over and over. Keep doing what works and discard the techniques that are not effective. What apparently works for your sitch is sprinkling WOAs...keep doing this. What obviously does not work is continuously hammering the A and exposure into W....a cheeseless tunnel. W heard you the first time around.
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On the other hand, why would I want to be even friends with someone who has betrayed me like this?
This is the kind of self-righteousness that needs to cease. Not helpful to the DB process. Check your pride at the doorstep. Certainly there is a world of hurt with when the A is first revealed. When it first happened to me, it felt like a Mack truck had run me over and left my innards spread out across the road. Such utter shock and devastation. The first instinct is to go after OM/OW and inflict greater, if not as much, pain on them than what we experience. [I experienced first symptoms of PTSD from this and it went on for a few months] It is a self-destructive cycle that LBSes MUST consciously break away. Unclench the fist and release the pain for your own well-being. I liked it when someone alluded it to drinking poison yourself and expecting them to die.
On to the timeline of when your W was last at the house which is around end of July. Keep with the home makeover changes where it will be clearly visible to W as she will eventually come to the house (no, I am not talking about moving back in) for some such "errand" or some other excuse. Can you also do the spare bedroom over as well? Make it all your home. Picture yourself as a new friend visiting your house. What would you see? Which rooms will you be most likely see? Then make those changes (different paint color, some accents)...it does not need to be HUGE and earth shattering.
