This is what Roz Van Meter has to say about putting protective boundaries in place in her book 'Put Your Big Girl Panties On':
+ YOU are the only person entitled to let people in - to your house, your heart, your head, your bed + YOU are the one who can protect the Little Nice Girl inside you from intrusive or unhealthy demands, requests, phone calls, Inernet, TV, visitors + YOU are the woman who can learn to say "No thanks" without feeling guilty. + YOU can protect yourself from undue stress, which shortens your life and adds frown lines. + YOU can decline an order to leap tall buildings in a single bound, even if you think you could. + YOU can listen to the little voice inside you that says, "This doesn't fit for me. This hurts".
I now know that I can say NO to WH. I can say that's TOO MUCH for me. I will PROTECT myself from situations which hurt me or stress me.
Therefore: + I cannot make up for WH's shortfallings as a father nor his extreme choice to live overseas. I cannot close the gap between the Northern and Southern Hemisphere's and make up for/cover up his absence as a father. That would be trying to leap the Empire State building in a single bound. + I will listen to my GUT INSTINCT upon receiving the letter for our baby. NO - this material is UNWELCOME in my home. It hurts me and my healing and I think it's UNHEALTHY for our child. My WH needs a psychiatrist to sort out his childhood issues. He won't sort them out on my or our baby's ground.
I don't need to be rude about it. But 8 months after the Bomb and with little hope of reconcilliation, I am going to start taking care of myself.
