I want to be part of the group...

[Jstar]

i'm just hitting another low; h is so cheery when he picks me up with the kids, life is great for him.

lady at work told her daughter in law that i have to lil babies, she just had one and she's struggling with the one and doesn't know how i do it, work go home to the babies, etc. so she bought my son some clothes like 9 outfits, i thanked her so much, jsut for the thought that people know how hard it is for me.

so h is like 20 mins late picking me up to go home, supposed to get shots for my boy, but he was to late to get them, since i can't afford insurance we get them at the free clinic.

he' sall happy driving, oh lets get something to eat, i'm reading the card my coworker gave me and it made me cry that someone else thought about me..

he tries to talk i can't talk to him,. we get to me and kids house and i just say you really are not a good person, you have no morals, you are always going to be illegal to work in the usa, ur lifestyle is scummy, drinkiing partying ect. i started to tell him about how i blew up at my d, of course i'm real emotional for the guilt.

i'm in so need of a reality check: I'm 40, been married 3 times, have an 18 yr old, 6month old and 3 yr old. who the heck would want to get in a relationship with me? im going to i all ready am so lonley.