I also feel very compassionate towards her. She cried for most of 90 minutes about the pain and hurt she's felt. I'm responsible for most of that, and I think I understand how scared she is.
Sleep on that before you throw any grenades.
The pain of leaving reached a point where the pain of staying was too great. Do you understand now why you need to let her go and agree with her? You are standing in her way of feeling better. Enough of trying to fight her feelings they are real.
I misspoke when I said grenades. I meant letting her go, telling her that I wasn't going to fight any longer. What someone here said was loving acceptance.
I won't "stalk" her out. That's not loving acceptance either. It's me trying to control her. I'll do the best to give her support when she asks for it, but I won't accept an indefinite timeline either; simply because it's not healthy for either of us or our children.
Our counselor asked her if she would consider taking a long weekend someplace to figure out what she wants; stay at a hotel someplace, visit family, or spend time with good friends who are supportive. She talked about that when I came home from work, but isn't planning on doing it anytime soon.
I think she's just trying to delay acting on a decision she's already made. At this point, it's obvious that she's not ready to forgive the past. That she's hesitating because of the girls, and the guilt she feels for "hurting" me by leaving.
I've been selfish the last two months, wanting to hold onto her, keeping her from healing. Clinging. Playing the guilt card. Playing the kid card. Playing the "broken vows" card.
I don't want to hurt her anymore. If she's ever going to forgive me, she needs the space to open her heart. And even if she doesn't, what type of man would I be to keep her in a situation where I'm hurting her?
