Update: Been offline since early July. I was gone much of the summer, and returned home in early August.
We were in the lawyers office in late June, and W decided she could not go through with the D, and wanted to truly give us another chance. Admitted it was the first time she felt that way in over a year. Big change.
W had a very hard summer, very depressed and isolated. She was glad I came back in early August, and has made big strides since that time. She is optimistic about our future, and wants to work hard at reconciling.
We have had a couple of MC, and will continue to move forward. W is frequently ruminating about the past, esp. about my affair five years ago. I am doing my best to help her deal with that, and am not bringing up issues with her A of last year. I think I need to support her,and try to help her out of her depression.
I find myself biting my tongue quite a bit, trying to help us move forward. She desperately wants to get out of her depression. We seem to be fitfully moving forward, but I cring at the thought of major setback.
Just an update. Thank you all for being there with me for so long. You have meant a lot.
Baby steps. Just remember the baby steps.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
Any Chance, It's so good to hear from you, and hear that your W is willing to give your M another chance. I agree - keep up with those baby steps and believe in yourself. All the best, FMV (aka prairiegirl)
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
We seem to be moving forward. W has done a tremendous job of climbing out of her depression, although at times it seems as if she still teeters on the brink. It is all too easy for her to slip backward, with the usual cause being reminders of my A six years ago. I am trying to help her and us move forward as much as I can. We have come very far, and have much further to go. This is a long process, and I need to see light at the end of the tunnel, which is very elusive.
Does the rollercoaster ever end?
Trying to move forward.
H 51, W 46 no kids T 22 years M 17 years ILBNILWY 2/10 1st D talk 6/10 partial recovery W files D 5/11 long distance separation 8/11 moving forward on D 10/11 legal separation complete 1/2012
We have come very far, and have much further to go. This is a long process, and I need to see light at the end of the tunnel, which is very elusive. Does the rollercoaster ever end?
Hi AC, nice to see you back for an update. Glad to hear you and your W are moving forward and that her depression is lifting. AC, sometimes I think life IS a rollercoaster. Just keep hanging on. Yes I get stuck in worrying about the future too - will the changes we're making 'stick', or will we slip back. I think it's recognizing those fears and facing them, that helps make us strong enough to face those precarious peaks and find some light in those dark valleys.
You have come very far... I remember back this spring, when you were on a work trip and having such a struggle. I was worried for you... you were in rough shape! But you AND your W have climbed out of it - look at the strength that took! If I'm remembering correctly, you also talked about the strengths you drew on when your dad passed. Those strengths are still there waiting for you to draw on as you and your W continue reconnecting. Take care, will be thinking of you, and watching for your updates. FMV (aka prairiegirl)
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
