You can love someone and eject them from your life. Take away the expression of that love as being friendly and nice. You don't act mean, you just don't act friendly.
You can also dislike someone and keep them in your life.
The conundrum is this - they act disrespectful at one time, then act nice and respectful, then act disrespectful, etc... do you enforce the boundary each time they are being disrespectful or do you freeze all friend type interactions until they stop the pattern? I would imagine it depends on what the person is willing to take and deal with.
In the case of an A, that's an ongoing act of disrespect so it's more cut and dry.
I'm trying to resolve/discover my TRUE personal values/views here as I grow so I vacilate between hardline and letting go strategies. I simply couldn't hammer on the affair in every interaction so I don't think it's that cut and dried.
By the same token, I simply can't ignore it and pretend there isn't one. It exists. I can't control it/her.
For example, how do I define friends vs loving? What does that "feel" like to act that way? I can't say I know withregards to her. Expressing WOA's (which feels right to me) would violate the friends line. On the other hand, why would I want to be even friends with someone who has betrayed me like this? The only rationale I have is in Tupy/Glass. The only way to view her is as an addict. I'm trying to get through to the "real W" while dealing with the "current addict"
The WOA's, IMO, are the laser missiles I'm trying to get through "the fog" to her while holding my boundary in disrespect (which rebuilds RESPECT). Hammering on the affair is pushing away.
In trying to explain I've shown the confusion. And it follows up to Sunny's post- I'm looking for the "best approach" and having a hard time settling on MY "best" approach.
