Well I am an emotional basket case today. I guess reality is sinking in. The tests came back pos for pg but inconclusive re viability, so I had to go back for more tests.
In the meantime, after several talks with H over the last few days (remember I said it takes a few days to get his true reaction) he does not think this is a good idea. He says he can't stop me if I want to proceed, but his mortality is staring him in the face. He keeps bringing up that he'll be well into his 70's when the kid is 20. So now I feel I need to choose between this pg or my M, because I'm pretty sure the M will not survive another pg. I believe the mortality issue pushed H to seek out a lawyer. Other men in his family died in their 60's so, in his typical fashion of latching onto the neg, he's thinking about how many years he has left.
I get that. I do. For me, my biggest fear is some defect/disability that would disrupt the whole family. All of the other neg's he's mentioned are inconveniences, and those I can get over - anyone could get over them.
I'm really praying that God takes the decision out of my hands because I'm not sure I can agree with his decision. At least I don't have to decide today. In fact, I'm going to try and stop thinking about it today because I'm turning into a puddle.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
LRT, I sent a prayer up for you to have comfort, wisdom and clarity.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
For being a smart girl, I feel pretty foolish to be in this spot. And not just the late age pg, but the M strife, the secret account, the almost divorce (which is unresolved).
One thing I can't bring myself to do is go to the sites that show you what the fetus looks like at 2 wks, 4 wks, etc. what I do wonder, is if I go along with H's decision will our M fail anyway because I will feel resentment? I do need clarity. And lots of wisdom.
And I thank you all for the comfort, because that is not happening at home.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
I wish I had perfect advice but I'm being given alot of advice to focus on ME and do what is the best thing for ME, so I would encourage you to do the same. Don't guess that you can predict any outcome of the M based on the possible outcomes of the pregnancy. Focus on the pregnancy alone and make the best choice that you need to make in your life for you and your DD. Let H be a big boy and take care of himself.
(((((LRT)))))
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10
I feel as though i have been in your situation. i've been pregnant 4 times and had 3 chidlren. my last pregnancy was to say the least a struggle.
today me and my children celebrated my son's 1/2 birthday, he is so gorgeious and i just love him. the baby i lost was devasting for me in somany ways.
h and i were so rocky then, i felt trapped,just having bought my house, i did it on my own without h. working, and having my daughter at the time 1.5 years old. he and i would break up and get back together, so many times. i never wanted him to come back for the kids and believed that's why he orginally returned when d was 9 months old. i think that baby knew it and felt and died because of that, but i found out i had a blood disorder and went on to have my son.
you are fortunate to be pregnant and whatever happens, it is a blessing and what happens is for a reason
Me 39 H 30 d 18 previous marriage d 2.5 with H s 4.5months with H Seperation Nov09 july i'm dim to dark - set internal deadline
