My W and I had a weekend getaway with our dance studio. We had a nice time for the most part. The evening ballroom dance didn't go well for my W. She enjoyed connecting with the other students, and even got up early for breakfast. The ballroom dance was again stressful for her.

She said afterwards that she feels like she is sitting watching others dance. I know the instructor and others dance with her and keep her busy, but I guess it's not enough. I'm reluctant to dance my less skilled dances with her, because she's so self-conscious on the floor and won't tolerate mistakes. The teacher tried to tell her that mistakes are part of the process. She cried all the way home in the car, and was intoxicated when we left.

She tried to blame me for her experience. I asked her what it was I did wrong, and she was not able to articulatete it. She kept repeating how she's wanted to dance ballroom as a child, and was denied by her mother. I replied to her email this morning, and told her to think about what skills she needs to be comfortable in a ballroom setting, and make a plan to develop them. I would help to the extent I can. I did influence her to go to a ballroom dance at a studio last Friday, and she had a fine experience. The large ballroom was intimidating to her.

I'll work on not letting myself get hooked into her comments, and try to stay focused on problem-solving. If she gets disrespectful, I'll wait until another time to help her with this problem. I think not working is also adding to her stress. Spending time with other couples is helpful, because you get to see all of them having conflicts at some point or another. The teachers fuss in front of us.

CL

Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 08/23/10 07:25 PM.
CL 53 W 54
M 20 yrs.
03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL
10-14' Piecing

"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."

----Tao Te Ching