I'm not sure it's something you EVER get over. In many ways (IMO) a divorce is more painful than a death. Death, to me, is finality and the end of a physical life means there is nothing more to do or say. It's a forced acceptance that is much easier to process. A divorce means a spouse is still "out there" and when their is life there is possibility.
I always find it difficult to read when a divorcing person with children proclaims how much "easier" I have it because I don't have children. While children do you keep people invested the pain of divorce is not any "better" sans children. A family is a family even if children are not part of the family.
It's all relative of course. I often marvel at the pain that is tangible over a marriage that only lasted 3, 4, 5 years and wonder how that could be. Well, because pain is pain no matter what the time frame or family structure. My pain is no greater because I was married for 11 years compared to somebody that was only married for 4 yrs, right?
IMO what is NOT discussed enough is the categories of pain. The emotional side of divorce is well covered but the pain that is associated with the legal side of divorce is not. And it should be. It doesn't matter how good an attny you have or how dark you go.
Divorce will forever be a part of you and me and everybody here. It's unfortunate but reality. I tend to think a few years from now we will say it is one of the MOST important parts of us because we were able to learn so much.
But sure, it is *very* painful. I can't even listen to all the cliches of "time heals all" and "this too shall past". Well OF COURSE it does but the road you have to walk to really *get* all of that is long and hard. Lucky for us we can all walk it together
