Another long term relationship bombed

[Coach]

I purposely did not jump up and hooked up the generator like I usually do.

passive-aggressive, not manly

She asked if I was going to hook up the generator.

Do you know why she asked? Women want safety, they expect their man to provide it. It wasn't a question it was a request.

I just stood there thinking - who invited you to come, but I did not want to be mean and let her tag along.

Who's got the bad attitude? something is bothering you and you don't say anything. So the passive-agressive pouty boy will put a damper on the night.

She wanted to take it slow so we would have a better chance to return to the house with power back on.

You have no idea what woman want. You are a dog lover - women are cats. Can't you see what she really wanted, she pursued you for dinner.

We talked about her work which is always a stimulating conversation. Again I made sure I listened and made eye contact when she was speaking. I am getting very good at that. I let her finish all her sentences before butting in. I made my responses short and to the point. She seemed to enjoy that.

Why did she seem to enjoy that?

I was holding to my opinions strongly but reasonably trying to explain why I see things differently. She started arguing that I don't know the whole story and I am missing facts. I agreed that I do not claim to know everything. I asked her to fill me in on the facts. She tried but came up short. I politely suggested that we could carry on the topic once we both have educated ourselves a bit more. She agreed, but was irritated.

She wanted to have a debate, it's exciting, stimulating and she wants to know what you think. You shut the dialouge down, you sound very condescending from here.

Silence followed.

See the result?

She immediately started complaining that it is not the same as it used to be and started laying out every little thing that was wrong with it. I just let her complain. Finally she was done and I asked if there is anything right for you today.

put-down
Agree with her feelings it's how woman feel connected to other people.

I said that I was glad that something was right and that she looks really miserable today.

So the big man is glad she likes her soup and the compliment I'm sure really brightened her mood.

I was totally ready for her to start blaming me for all the misery in the world, but she didn't.

That expectation comes across loud and clear.

She only said that she has one of those moments (referring to her health condition) and that she does not want to talk about it.

I bet you didn't ask her about her health either. 800 lb gorilla in the room and you avoid it after she brings it up. Don't believe for a minute she doesn't want to talk about. She will find someone to listen.

She talked all the way home and at that point I tuned her out.

There is a reason you haven't ML in over a yr.

I was just drained from her mood swings and energy I had to use to hold it in check.

Why did her mood swings drain you?

You are holding back a lot of anger, fear and bitterness. Have you read up on co-dependence and passive-aggressive behavior?

The rest of the evening was nice and uneventful.

Most guys on here would kill to have their wife want to go out to dinner with them. Your goal should be to have "events" after going out with your wife and sharing a good time.


I see your wife as someone wanting more and you not providing it.