I had my kids this weekend, and I have to say it was probably the most fun I think I have ever had with them. Friday, we had dinner with a group of 24 in my neighborhood (everyones' kids included), and the kids had a great time. There was a lady doing balloon animals, and the kids loved it. Kids, and I made a lot of contacts for play dates and dinner outings.
WOW, what a great neighborhood! I'd love to have that someday, I'm jealous
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Saturday, we went to my brother and SIL's (they have 4 kids), and the kids, and I really had a great time just being with people who wanted to be with us. I've always been close to my family, but the D has made me appreciate how valuable my family is.
At the end of the evening Saturday, my SIL told me that now that stbxw is out of the picture, they really wanted to spend vacations with me and the kids. Apparently, they couldn't tolerate my stbxw's need to control everyone around her. They only went on one vacation with us in 13 years, and I never knew why until Saturday night.
Interesting how people in your life hold their tongues til something like a D happens. I understand why, it's just kind of interesting. Not that we would've been able to see what they saw back then.
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Sunday, we made a trip to shop for my kitchen, and a stop at the grocery. After lunch, spent time at a great park with a fantastic playground for the kids about two blocks from my condo.
Then we came home and finished putting their new bunk bed together. I decided to let my S10 try to help me put the top bunk above the lower one, and he (and I) was so proud he was able to lift it in place. Of course, D6 helped too. WE did it...TOGETHER - my new family. As small as the task was, I don't think I will EVER forget it.
I love hearing this, GIMA. Especially from a dad. I hope my H and D will have moments like that together when I'm not there. And it emphasizes what they say about kids remembering these "everyday" experiences, when all of us are worried about our finances and changing lifestyles- well even a potluck or ordinary household project can make memories. It's nice for me to remember.
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Mid-way through Sunday, I caught myself thinking how relaxed I was around the kids - more than I ever remember being. And it hit me that I wasn't tense, short, or busy telling them what they couldn't do - and the only thing different was that my stbxw wasn't around. How much stress did she help generate in me? Tension? I let it happen, but, what a difference with her not around.
The kids are doing well. And, so am I!
Next weekend, stbxw will have the kids. And, I'm going whitewater rafting with a friend.
Hope everyone is doing well, or as well as you can.
Good for you for noticing that! That means you've done some good work in your head, I think. I also think it's very hard esp. for the LBSs to envision how life might be better in some ways when we're no longer living together. We're easily able to think of how things might be worse, though.
I have always wanted to go rafting- I hope you have a blast! My trip will be in September- solo backpacking in Yosemite for the first time since before D was born. I cannot wait to be in "my" park, alone with nature!
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Update from this weekend. I decided to break off seeing my new "friend." I just did not see the R being a long term one and was feeling VERY crowded.
And, maybe it's because I have a conscience, but I felt terrible about it. I really did not want to hurt her, and while she cried a bit, she told me she was not hurt...just sad.
Later, after she had left, I felt lonely and empty again. But, I recognize those feelings, and given what I've learned here, I am working through them. I will make me happy. No one else has that responsibility.
I have the kids tonight, then the next two weekends (b/c this coming weekend is mine and I have them Labor Day weekend).
The judge has given us until this Friday to have the final settlement agreement filed. STBXW's L has had our last draft for over 3 weeks now. My L has sent STBXW's L three emails to remind him we are still waiting on him. Could be fireworks later this week.
GIMA, Think the Dawgs can handle the Ragin Cajuns? Heard they are mixin up some voodoo for the Dawgs.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Hey guys. Just checking in. I just got the kids to bed, and I'm contemplating a glass of wine.
STBXW is in full stride with a new man. And, I suspect it has been going on a while. Exactly how long, I don't know. So, Puppy, I may have spoken too soon.
STBXW should be XW by Tuesday. We signed the final settlement agreement on Friday, and the Judge is supposed to enter the divorce decree on Tuesday. What a wild, wild ride it was.
I had the kids this weekend, and will have them the next two weekends (b/c I get Labor Day this year and the following weekend was mine). STBXW is focusing on her new man (who was M'd twice and is, uh, behind on his child support and alimony - they deserve each other) while I am taking the kids to Disney for Labor Day weekend (I have the timeshare points this year). Should be a lot of fun.
I am meeting a new woman for a drink the week after Labor Day. Looking forward to it.
STBXW should be XW by Tuesday. We signed the final settlement agreement on Friday, and the Judge is supposed to enter the divorce decree on Tuesday. What a wild, wild ride it was.
I am meeting a new woman for a drink the week after Labor Day. Looking forward to it.
Hope everyone has had a great weekend.
FREEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!
Good to hear you being positive and going on a date will be a lot of fun.
STBXW is in full stride with a new man. And, I suspect it has been going on a while. Exactly how long, I don't know. So, Puppy, I may have spoken too soon.
Wow. Sorry, friend.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
STBXW should be XW by Tuesday. We signed the final settlement agreement on Friday, and the Judge is supposed to enter the divorce decree on Tuesday. What a wild, wild ride it was.
Yep. And you were a model of selflessness and nobleness throughout. And so giving and supportive of others on this board throughout your ordeal.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
STBXW is focusing on her new man (who was M'd twice and is, uh, behind on his child support and alimony - they deserve each other)
Not surprised she couldn't find anyone better than you.
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
I am meeting a new woman for a drink the week after Labor Day. Looking forward to it.
Careful of the rebound, buddy...but you know that
Good to hear from you, friend.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
