However, going forward I cannot love her as I did.
Originally Posted By: Truegritter
What do you mean by this?
I tried to explain in the rest of the post what I meant in that I cannot maintain the same attitudes; misconceptions and habits as before. In retrospect, I also need to give myself time to "slow down" in my interactions with her until my new "core" becomes fully ingrained.
e.g I need to be vigilant to "slights" and/or disrespect. Quite often, they go by me and we're onto something else when they register in my head.
-I must remember to LEAD and set the direction. Her decisions and thinking (especially now) are flawed and unreliable
-I cannot love her to the detriment of me. The "strength element" has to be maintained at all times. That is/was the fundamental flaw in the relationship. I allowed myself to be disrespected, over-ruled or ,worse, let her carry the ball without my input. For the sake of expediency; to avoid conflict; and/or in the hopes "whatever" would make/allow her to be happy, I stayed silent.
WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!
My feelings of love are fine. My ACTIONS or lack of same were not. I hope that explains it more clearly.
Incidentally, we met this morning to exchange some stuff andd get some bank paper done.
She looks tired and older in her face.
She offered me some sunglasses. Brand new in bag. Said a client gave them to her. Asked me to try them on and said they looked really good on me.
I told her we need to unload the truck and gave her the details of the arrangement I made. She said she'd have to get the damaged fixed. I said "When? How fast can you have the 800 to fix it?"
She's gonna get back to me if the body shop can do the works and give her some time to pay it off. Since I just dropped the mortgage by 400/momth each, should be quick.
Switching vehicles and changing jobs should cut her fuel bill by half. Changing vehicles should save me about 300/month and her about 500.
Regarding the job, she is concerned about possible shift work interference with D2. I said "If this job is what yoy want, then you and I can discuss the childcare schedule to accomodate it. Meet with them ASAP"
She was told the job is hers for the taking. She thanked me again for the nice words Friday. She asked me what I thought of the Svc Manager. I said he seemed like a good person to work with. Proper attitude.
Anyway, I told her she needs to get to work and I have some appointments to get to.
My feelings? I can't say she's coming around as I didn't feel her situation/stance has changed. I saw nothing to suggest it. Her physical appearance is worsening. She did stand closer to me than normal initially and the sunglasses thing was odd.
Not trying to mind read. Just trying to give you all an idea how it went down.
Personally, I spoke too much and too quickly. But I didn't veer off of the tasks at hand. I did, however, put all my happiness into D2.
