AG, How do they make you bond together in the military? You need to be there for your wife right now. She will push you, spew on you and test your resolve. That's her way of seeing whether or not you can withstand all her feelings - she has a lot of feelings right now. You love her by taking care of business - the kids, school, attending Dr visits, being a lightning rod for her feelings (don't tolerate CB though), and leading.
Show her what your family means to you in a time of crisis, show her that you can carry on and carry her at the same time, pray with her and your kids, show her that you can handle this - this is attractive and will create a emotional connection.
Strength and Honor.
Coach
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
