Another story of a WH and an LBS

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Hugs G. So sorry you had this sad day. WH needs to GET that 10am means 10am, not 'when I feel like it because I got distracted by the farmer's market & didn't think ahead that I would need to go home and put it away" !! That's silly of him, and you were right to let him know how you felt about it because a boundary was crossed.

About the R talk. Don't worry; you have both been honest about your feelings. And they are just that: FEELINGS.

Your WH has some unresolved childhood issues and he needs to sort out the little boy in him. He blames you for getting pregnant. Um, NO. He is an adult - he can't cry "not fair!" now.

He was afraid of how he might FEEL when the baby was born. Now he FEELS that he loves her. He is telling you something here -- use it --- he is only FEELING things right now. He FEELS you left him because you won't be friends with him. Of course we know this is completely illogical, but it's how he is feeling.

G, he WANTS to be your friend, he wants connection with you. If you think he is slipping away, change your strategy maybe?
Keep agreeing with him that you think the old marriage is over.
As for the friends thing, someone did put on on this forum ; why not be friends? That it doesn't make sense to want to reconcile when you won't be their friend. It might work better the other way around.. tell them you "don't want to be married to them either right now and that it would be better to be friends right because you're not too sure you are in love with them anymore."
It sets them free a bit to see what they might be losing..friends instead of lovers. It doesn't mean you have to be great friends, maybe you can be the kind of friend that forgets to call back, because you are getting on with your life and are not as available as a best friend or lover.. So by validating him (yes we can be friends) you are potentially unblocking him.

The idea of 'hard work' is a turn off. They say that small changes can start a positive cycle and have a big impact on a relationship. Being fun and playful is important and can help unblock intimacy.
I think do not expect reconcilliation to be fast; maybe in the begining, a comittment to being friends is good enough. Now that you are starting to level with each other, this will allow you to bond... next you can try to figure out what went wrong.

MC would still be a good thing, but you cannot make him want it. And you both need to continue with the IC to look into relationship dilemnas set by your childhoods.

Hey, you say you never fight... I am wondering if you guys have needed to have a barny or two in the past? In fact, in the book "I love you but I am not in love with you" the author talks about the value of letting rip with a good argument. Quote: 'destructive strategies for keeping anger at bay include detachment, rationalising, skipping and blocking'. Don't know, just thought I'd throw that in there! Anyway, recommended reading!