Ominus Bonus

[steady]

Yeah CD it does. Always nice to know I'm not alone. I know it will never come together if she doesn't do the work on herself. But like you, I can see what my W and I could/could have built if she did it. It's a like a fantasy that I don't hold much hope of ever happening.

All I can do is keep moving forward and be the best I can be and let life unfold as it will.

[LanceSijan]

It's a like a fantasy that I don't hold much hope of ever happening.

You can keep expectations at zero and still have hope.
I suggest not to give up hope since all is not always as they seem to be.

[steady]

Thanks Lance,

It's a like a fantasy that I don't hold much hope of ever happening.

You can keep expectations at zero and still have hope.

I never thought of it that way.

I suggest not to give up hope since all is not always as they seem to be.

So true. I sing this song all the time here but still get caught in the trap of projecting. Did you ever see the Zen story 'We'll See' - my favorite.

[steady]

I got a call from my L this morning and he got a fax from W's attorney saying she dropped the Order of Protection attempt. We were supposed to go to trial on it tomorrow and she had no leg to stand on.

I was pissed because this is the second time she's done this. Tried to get an OP, drag me into court, pay lawyer fees, then drops it when trial comes. She did this last year and dropped it the day of the trial. We would have beat that one. And we would have beat this one.

I had good hard evidence which showed she was lying and twisting things around.

I was hoping to go through with it and get it dismissed - at least to clear my name. The crap she put into those OP's...makes me sick.

But then I realized, the people who actually care about me, and the ones I care about already know the truth. It's her family and friends who don't. But that's her life and not mine.

Yesterday afternoon I got a voice message from my son. "Daddy can you come and get me? Mommy isn't playing with me and she's not being nice."

He's so cute. How I love my kids. I could never explain it in words.

[MM78]

Aw, I love your son too! I suppose there is nothing you can do to prevent her from filing those lies in the future, huh?

[steady]

Hi MM. Thanks for stopping by.

Nothing I can do to stop her. The divorce complaint is full of them also. I can only do my best to prove them wrong. On both of these OP's I had a lot of evidence which would prove her lying/fabricating. But neither one of them got to the point where I could do that.

I imagine she will say she dropped this one because the D is filed and moving. Of course, that would be a lie because it makes no sense. If she believed she could have gotten an OP she would have pursued it because it would have given her a very strong weapon in D proceedings.

I just left a freakin long post at your thread. You're doing well. Just keep moving forward focusing on you.

[CD Bear]

Steady, I'd be keeping that Vmail. Forward to the L for "safe keeping"

[PEI]

How I love my kids. I could never explain it in words.

That, my friend, is something I think we all have in common!
PEI

[steady]

I usually record them and put em on my computer. Although you know kids...lol. He's done that to me also. He probably did something and she told him she wasn't going to play with him anymore.

Yes PEI I believe that's true. Although there are many people who have no problem splitting up a family and losing time with their kids.

[steady]

I wanted to drop this post from the How to Display Strength and Love thread over here. It helps me to remember:

Ultimately Bear, the true consequence of this lack of respect is the loss of a "friendly" relationship which he said he wanted (as in 'Gary Unmarried') and I thought was best for the kids. I will not be a bitch, but I do not want to be 'friends' with my stbxH.

Exactly the stance I took in regards to my W's disrespecting me. We can't somehow force them to be respectful, but I do have the power to eject from my life anyone who does not treat me with respect.

The reason for asking is I always see "set a boundary" and that entails (by DB standards) to explain it and define the consequesnces then enforce them.

They aren't always explained in advance. I never told my W if she disrespects me I will eject her from any friend status. To me, that's just common sense for people. I'm just treating her as if she has been ejected. I won't even bring it up unless she asks. She may ask she may not. It's not done for a reaction out of her - it's done because it's healthy for me and my self respect as a person.

The bringing people into the house is a definite one to address beforehand because it is set for the kids to prevent possible damage to them.