And on page 70 of Divorce Busting there is some info on a study about schizophrenics... it explains a bit about how when the mother 'overparents' the father kind of backs off to the sidelines. I do think that happened in our household. He is/was never here so I ran the whole show and when he walked in he could play with them and leave.
How did that make you feel? If you didn't like the way you felt, what did you do about it?
Originally Posted By: MM78
He makes plans for himself without any thought of if I have plans or if there will be anyone to watch the kids.
How did that make you feel? If you didn't like the way you felt, what did you do about it?
Originally Posted By: MM78
One of my 180s this week was going to be to ask him what night he could be home early so I could go out for a little bit on my own. If he asks where I guess I'll tell him to a few stores. This will give me a little bit of time to shop for new clothes without toting 2 toddlers and give them some time with their daddy without me around to either critique him or run over to help out if someone cries.
Perfect! Make sure you do it. Something healthy for you as a person to do.
Why do you critique him? How do you think it makes him feel when you do that? Are you overly critical? Is it your way or the highway? Do you believe there are different parenting styles?
Do you believe a man has a different interaction with kids than a woman? (I am much more physical with my kids than my W is (masculine energy) and of course, she always had some critique - too late, too much, might get hurt, teaching them violence...lol...OMFG drove me nuts)
Also perfect to allow him to take care of the responsibilities, ie: you not being there to take over when someone cries. Don't you want him to be more involved with his kids than he is? Don't you think he wants this also?
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
