OK. I am not going to fake anything. It's insincere and manipulative.
I am making the house feel "mine". It should. I live here.
I am going to talk to the lawyer Monday to get my financial protection options nailed "without" a Sep Agreement.
If I have to pursue the Agreement and LEAD, then so be it.
I know many say the LBS shouldn't pursue the D but if I don't do something it won't happen. Then I'll spend the rest of my life like this with nothing in writing and legally enforceable.
I am also going to lead the dropping of the truck.
Regardless, if she comes around or not, I need to know where I stand for the beginning of my next life. I've decided that the truck is going away in either event. My name is on it and I don't want the cost. No benefit to me now. Too expensive for "us" 'then'.
I am going to continue to read and learn. I will re-focus on getting my personal habits in line with who I really am; who I was before and who I want to be in the future.
I will continue to stand up for me. I will not accept CB. However, I will also throw in the occasional WOA where applicable. She will always be my daughters mom and I did love her (albeit maybe too much using the wrong definition of love compounded by my own "tendencies" and misconceptions). However, going forward I cannot love her as I did.
I believe that it is really gelling in my brain that this really is all about me. And that is my focus now.
Wonka- duvet is on (D likes it) and the cars are in the kitchen.
Been thinning the wardrobe to make way for the new.
Just need some artwork and rearrange the kitchen.
Job 1 is the kegal. Job two is my actual job. I've been severely distracted and if I'm gonna look after D and I to the level I expect of myself, I gotta get that ball rolling again.
Thanks again, everyone for all your support and input. I wouldn't be "here" without you. Still be on the ledge. Or worse.
