My New LBS Reality

[irishblessings]

Sunday evening - quiet weekend. Rested quite a bit. No verbals with H since July 31st. H drove 1.5 hours to spend 40 minutes with middle D. She said the conversation was very generic. Asked her when she was moving. Offered to take off work through the week to help her but she told him she had to work herself and couldn't take off. Continued detachment from all of us. His July "roomie" (single guy) contacted me the other day - said that he had talked to H every day in July but hadn't heard from him since he moved to extended stay hotel. Friend said he called him - H told him he was crazy with work but good. Friend said "IB - I am worried about him. I am floored by what he is doing." I said "thanks for saying that - we are devastated - but trying to be respectful."

Not really sure where I am in this journey. Always trying to stay together for S and Ds. Feeling empty and alone quite often. Sometimes getting a little crazy in thoughts - thinking of any disagreements we may have had over the years and trying to analyze it to see if he really has never wanted me.

Changed my reading choices - now on Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Trying to establish my new vision - for me and the kids. All I really want is to be in H's arms. But you already know that.

Back to work tomorrow. Hopefully can be lighter in spirit. Have a great week!