I hope you're right. I won't sweat it for the moment, wait until the bill comes in. Does anyone think I should approach H directly through Email, or indirectly through lawyer about the taxes and air conditioner. I'm very confused at this point. It seems no matter what I do where H is concerned, it is wrong.
I would email him...that is what I did when my H was gone...of course he ignored my requests even to pay HIS cell phone that was in my name...
Do what you can live with...what you feel is fair...and what your children will respect you doing...if H isn't happy, well you can't control that...if he hadn't left he would be paying for it...his decision, his consequences...
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Well, I got more sleep last night due to the wonders of modern pharmacology. Still woke up about 4:30. Just laid there and thought.
As H is still so angry about me not signing the waiver, I know now is really not the time to contact him with anything. Makes me sad, as if starting all over again with being dark.
Trying hard to still have some hope, but it is getting clearer and clearer that H thinks I am the root of all his problems and what he needs to be happy is to get away from me. As you all know, that's a hard pill to swallow from someone you love.
Punkin, glad to read that you fared better with your sleep last night. Do you meditate? When I was sick I would play a meditation on my ipod whenever I woke and it really helped to settle and calm me.
Like you said, the hare and the tortoise is the fable for DBers.......patience is your gift for now. Although the NC is difficult to manage it does help you to develop strength, acceptance of your own company and a way forward.
I'm sure most here would agree that their WAS blamed them for their unhappiness. It takes a long time before they realise that happiness comes from within. My H has expressed that recently and an acknowledgement that I have been his greatest supporter. Eventually they do gain some grasp of the reality.
Make a plan for today and a list of all the things you would like to do. It will help to keep you busy and give you somethings to look forward to.
I did it. I just felt the overwhelming need to let him know the door was still ajar. I sent him two quotes, actually, from you guys. One from you, Cas, that Happiness Comes from Within; and from Irish: That I will continue to treat him with courtesy and common decency, because that is who I am, and not because he has chosen someone or something else. That's all. Didn't sign it.
You will be to blame for a long time...I was for the better part of 3 yrs!
As for what you wrote...he might not see it as a door ajar
From his perspective it might appear that you are telling him that he is unhappy inside...when he maybe in complete denial of that because he see's that as you still... The last comment may come across that you are the better person(which you are, but)...that you are being noble while he is being a scum to choose someone else...
While a normal reasoning person may understand what was intended remember you are dealing with a MLC male! Two strikes right there...if you really want him to know, let time pass, and then be very black and white..."As far as I am concerned, until one of us remarries, it is NEVER too late to rebuild a better life together."...but again, I would give it time otherwise it will start looking like pursuing to him.
I understand the need you have...but like I said, I waited till 3 days before the D was to be final (and that was a Sunday so Friday was the only day to stop it!) and even then, H retreated back into the tunnel after leaving court that day...causing me, several months later and no word from him, to re-file for D the second time!
It is complicated...take your time...you have a good 2 months to practice the new you!
This getting a date for court has sort of put me into a tailspin. I had a lousy weekend, and can't seem to shake the low feeling it has brought on. My message was received, and returned, no answer. Not really surprised.
My intentions at this point are to be entirely dark. There doesn't seem to be any other answer, and actually, dark is how I feel anyway.
SIL came by to pick up his daughters while I was babysiting for D24 last night. It was very evident he was trying not to cry. Kids all swarmed him and GS2 climbs him like a ladder. D24 seems perfectly blissful. Don't understand it at all, but, I'm not living her life.
Actually, since receiving this court date, I feel back to square one. I don't feel spunky, I feel defeated, hopeless. Thought this part of the roller coaster ride might be over, but appears it was wishful thinking.
