I appreciate your insight in this. I do have a few follow up questions. Both the DB coach and the MC have said that she has one foot out the door and that I need to start hitting her with 180's and being unpredictable--to be the best Gef I can be. So I have done several reversals and she has started talking a lot more. Both counselors have said that if I tell her that she can't see her friends, then she will use that to leave-which may be the best option now. They have both said that she is making tests for me and if I want this to work, I have to pass these tests. I do have an idea for her texting though. I plan to tell her that if we do stuff as a family, then she needs to put the phone away. If she can't then we will not do stuff as a family-is that what you mean?
Also I am not sure how to lead in this because she is the one thinking of leaving. I feel that these statements and ideas are just tests for me to pass. So what actions do I take to switch gears and lead. One of her complaints (probably true to a point) was that I always lead and she didn't have a say. Usually she wouldn't express her opinion. So I have purposely been taking a back seat to let her "lead".
What would be a good boundary for her texting when it is just her and I together? Both MC and the DB coach said that I need to get her talking. Usually she doesn't want to talk but she does. If I put a boundary on her about texting in front of me, I think she will pull away and move out faster without giving us a chance to fix things.
I am not sure how to handle the condo idea other than to let her take a look and crunch the numbers before she realizes that she can't afford it.
But I don't think we can and/or would be friends. I certainly will not help her out with stuff if we seperate. \
