Hi Piano, not the response I expected. But I understand what you are saying. I guess I didn't tell the whole story, but H wrote the txts, yes, not my preferred style of communication. Yesterday H was here helping the baby, and when he was asleep, H and I talked. Basically, he talked about his regrets, and how he wished we wouldve tried counseling instead of leaving, that he was too wraPped in the pressure of doing well with school, and having to support a family before graduating, and that we didn't spend as much time with one another to just enjoy each other as we always had.

He said and these were his words, I regret my actions and leaving you. He also talked about how he felt distant and thought he'd fallen out of love with me but he still has strong feelings for me and us. Said he started to feel differently months ago, but was scared about what he felt, and was afraid to tell me, because I'd run with it, or what if his feelings changed. Also said he didn't want to do this because of the baby, and he had to try and focus on the baby rather than us, and he was scared of how he felt. Said his feelings grew so much stronger after the baby was born, and again, needed to push it aside to see that it wasn't because of the bay, but said he feel strongly its "us" he misses. We talked for a while. I questioned things, without going deeply into anything, and he was sincere. Yes we need MC!

I have to be honest and say that I started to forgive H months ago. I will probably never forget how he left and am taking a chance on him, but isn't that what love is all about... Taking chances? And wouldn't I be doing the same thing with someone else? Who's to say the next guy won't cheat on me and leave?

I get the boundaries thing but I don't have to teach H a lesson. I am his W not his mother. He will be the one to have a heavy heart about what he did. His regret is his punishment. Him not living here or being here when I was PG to share the experience is his own self inflicted punishment.

Yes, we both need IC and MC. But as I have felt and said to him when he said he was leaving is that I KNOW what we shared was worth fighting for.

H is not a saint, believe me what he did was incredibly wrong! He made a huge lousy decision.

My approach in all of this DBing was treating him like a MLC case. From the little I read about A, its very different in style. Treated a PA is with NC and strict boundarie, and MLc is a softer approach. I'm not saying that I will be a door mat.

I appreciate your concern piano, a little sad to hear your response, but I feel confident enough to know that I am pretty smart about the situation, and knowing that this will take years to fix. I read a lot of R storied and piecing stories, and most of them pretty much follow the same path... Friends first, security, create a home to come back to, and just be yourself.

I wasn't a great DBer, but I did what worked for me and my sitch. I may not work for someone else. NC works for mostzn I tried it, didn't fit into our sitch. I can't be a bitch because to punish him or prove a point. MWD says "forgiveness is the gift you give yourself" and in all situations in life it is so very true.

I truly understand where you ate coming from. And I'm sorry for not getting into full detail about our conversations over the past few times, and believe me, H is not moving in tomorrow, but I am going down this road. Yes we are reconciling and making our marriage, our family work. I have worked so hard on myself, and also spent so much time in C to know that I am stronger, and to have higher expectations for my M with H.

I'm pretty excited (and scared) to see where this is going.

You know that exciting feeling you get when you meet someone new and its flirting and laughng and that feeling in your heart... Well I get to experience all of that again with my H... Again!

Someone said to me months ago, you know deep inside if your M will work, and if he qill come back, fr the most part I think its true.

I trust my instincts and believe in 'us'. Guess its hard for an outside to see, or understand, but I'm sure I will get this reaction from a lot of people. Avtually, most people who know us, family and friends say they are not surprised and thought this would happen and we' be back together. They don't know what we've talked about, this is just based on our lifestyle and actions the past few months.
Gotta run! Baby is waking! Getting ready for a fun day with s, H, nd then spenindg time with my adorabble nephew. He is a year old and isn't sure what S is all about! Hahaha