SA, a new marriage would be based on a renewed and revived friendship with truth and honesty and love. But first I would need to know that the OW is no more. I would need to know (by actions) that we are a team, and that we will work to find ways to come together, whether in a crisis or in good times.
Based on our status, we have poorly executed the above.
My H had this perception that we didn't have anything in common (after six years of dating and another 5 1/2 years of marriage) because we stopped having fun over the last two years. We stopped laughing, we starting arguing more, and then became more and more distant.
He comes home next July. He indicated and insists that he "wants to reconnect and rebuild our marriage. It is where we should start.." He says he is 115% committed to working on our marriage. But my IC told me that it doesn't mean it will be "a bed of roses" and that I may find it doesn't work.
Lance, you are right, actions - not words. He is saying how much he loves me and told me yesterday about why he thought he needed to leave our home. He talked about me being no fun anymore and the increased arguing, no physical contact, and my moodiness. Well, I validated, indicating I could understand how he felt that way. I did not jump into the conversation about the OW. How do I do this without generating an argument?
Thank you all again so much...
(((HUGS)))
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
It's been a few days and H has been not really connected with me. Not sure of what is happening, but I am continuing to disconnect (detach). I amnot sure if he is really serious I guess.
I am going away for the weekend. Had a really crappy day at work today and I can use the break.
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Hang in there, it's a long process. I'm sure there are a lot more ups and downs to come. You've at least heard some positives from your H. Remember to keep expectations at zero.
Were you able to find out if the ow is still present?
Sorry to hear that you had a crappy day. You have felt these days before - do not go backward....forward....forward.
Enjoy your trip - take the time to relax and recharge - you deserve it. Oh...and thank you for your support.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Thank you for the advice. I am going to relax. Looking for a hotel with a spa that I can just use ALL DAY...
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
Good evening everyone. I wanted to see how everyone is doing?
OLD THREAD-http://tinyurl.com/y98nuty Me 44 H 51 T 15 yrs M 9+ yrs No Kids "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough."
