HEY GUYS, I NEED SOME ADVICE ON THIS ONE. Ok I asked W to meet up for coffee next Mon to talk after work. We both have to get better with schedules with our S. I also need to see if we are going to set up mediation as it’s a lot cheaper or if I should use my lawyer.
I’m trying to let her go & move forward I don’t think anything has changed except last week when I told her I was doing my best to move on. Maybe I was just reading into it. (Her Tears Boo Hoo)!! After we talk about our S; I have 2 thoughts & one is probably wrong; however this is it:
A: asking her if she had any second thoughts or doubts I guess that’s more for me (As I slipped up last month & asked if she had any doubts/2nd thought). W said sometimes she thinks about it, but said we would probably be here in a few yrs. again!!
B: Tell her she is right I do deserve to be loved by someone who does love and care for me. I’m trying to hang in there and get nothing in return. (Kind of like the dog that keeps getting kicked & he keeps coming back for more) That’s me. To be honest this is tough & the more we have been separated I’m not sure how I feel about you /us right now.
I don’t know if any of this would work or a combination of the 2. Don’t get me wrong I still love my W more than she knows, and want to make it work. It just seems that nothing has changed since this whole process has begun almost 9 months ago.
This communing week is our Anniversary so I made sure I had plans b/c she doesn’t seem to care. W is just as stubborn as me & once her mind is made up it’s almost set in stone. (Both kind of Mules)
It may take some more months or even a yr. or 2 but I think W will realize people can change & question what if? I know I have to watch my back b/c no one else will. I think I may push it back as I have a term paper due Tues & need to focus on that.
Well thanks for everyone’s input & advice it means a lot. Talk Later Hope
I am not sure if either A or B are right. I tried a similar thing to B, and W just said I deserve to be happy with someone else. I do not think I felt any better after that. A you have already tried, and I do not think it will be any different the second time around.
Maybe just saying nothing and waiting for her to say or do something if she wants to.
I am not sure what you should do, but maybe coming up with a C would be better.
Maybe just letting go is best.
I hope you find what to say or not say that is will bring some peace of mind either way.
Good luck on your term papers.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Me 31 Wife 34 (Step)D 15 /(Step)S 13 / D 6 Married 3/3/01 Separated 6/4/10 Bomb 6/14/10 Served 6/22/10 EA/PA Discovered 7/5/10 Now Back Together 8/1/10
Hey Onthemountaintop, Thanks for stoping in I dont get on hear as much as I use too. I do have some hope , but it's no wear near what I use to have. I still love her and care but cant change her feelings.
Just trying to improve on myself. I need to start a fresh thread or update it's just hard with work, school,seeing my S when I can, & trying to have fun. So I always don't get to post to others like I should. Well talk to ya later
I get that, Hope. There is a point where holding on seems fruitless. I really do "hope" she sees that you want to be the better one and make your R a dreamier M for you both.
If not, the future is where we are going either way, isn't it.
Three non-alcoholic cheers toward a tomorrow with the blessings and guidance of the God, Hope~
