Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Thanks Steve - I'll schedule the locksmith after our meeting tomorrow.

So, we're meeting tomorrow at her request at 4:00pm to discuss in her words, "a plan for us to both be with S4 for the next few weeks until we can go to mediation and design a coparenting plan." She plans to come here to the house at 4:00pm, but I'm going to suggest that we do this on neutral ground and not at our home. Because I don't want a scene and I want to take EMOTION out of the equation on this meeting. If we're in a public place we can't let emotion get in the way (i mean, we can, but it would be bad).

I've made up my mind that anything less than 50/50 is unacceptable.


She thinks that 70/30 (in her favor) is fair. She's thrown that figure out dozens of times. So I'll be walking into that meeting tomorrow. She reasons that she's been the primary caregiver for his entire life (as a SAHM) and that she should continue this. What she doens't recognize is that I've been the breadwinner for all these years so she COULD do that.

My plan is this -
I have about 100 hours of vacation built up. I will tell her that I've been thinking about it, and I want to use a week's worth of vacation in the next few weeks before we get in front of a mediator. I'd like to take S4 fishing, to the beach, maybe to one of the caves or museums, etc... and that I want this because this may be the last time that I'm able to see him like that for a long time, and it is important to me and him that we bond before all of this goes down. Likewise, I think she should have a week with him too.

I will not say the words 50/50. That will set in her mind my precedence of only allowing 50/50 custody. I will not say those words! That reveals my plan.

Here is the real kicker, something I haven't told this community yet.....


.... my parents are very wealthy. They'll hire the best of the best to take this to where I may end up with the 70/30 in my favor. It's very very possible with all the things that she has done, including an abortion she had 8 days before the bomb drop. At the time I had exposed the affair, about 2 weeks earlier, I did not know if the child was mine. I never really agreed to this, but she did it anyway. I never took her there, I never went to the followup, anything. I thought it was possible that the EA had gone PA but she wouldn't admit it, I didn't know what to do. Her reasoning was she did not want another child - that she was trying to go back to school, wasn't ready, etc. I had no say so in the matter.

Sorry to drop that bomb on this board.

I know it may be a sensitive subject, and that is why I have not brought it up before. Frankly, I'm afraid she'd find this thread somehow and see everything I've wrote - but now that she is out of the house I don't care. She's gone.

Anyways - back to my wealthy parents. They're all for playing dirty. And, they don't like W very much anyways, and she doesn't like them. She is DEATHLY afraid that I will go postal with super-L and take her for all she's worth. Her family has zero money to cover L fees.... hence, she wants to go to mediation to "work this out".

I will not play dirty unless forced to. I will attempt to by all means work this out tomorrow until mediation as a fair split of time for the next two weeks. If she will not settle for that, then I will simply say:

"I can see where this is going, and I do not like it. I think I am done here."

I will not threaten L or anything. I will stick to my guns as "I do not like where this is going. I need time to think about this really hard."

I will not agree to anything less than even time. I am standing up for myself. It is MY RIGHT to see my S4 as equally as she is.

She has no job. No degree. No skills. Never had a job. Just been a SAHM. It is not my fault this is the case. She could have made it a priority to go back to school if she really wanted.

She just has alot of issues to work out. She has terrible self-asteem (as do I) and this has brought our M to where it is.