What you might want to do is show your H that quote from MWD (omitting her name of course... you don't want him finding this forum)... I think its an excellent sample of what you expect of him...
Don't use it as a criticism... But show it to him and saying "Do you think this is something you can work towards?"
Give it some thought... I think that quote can work as well for a sports team player or something too... I am sure you can find a way to work with it...
Michelle just put it so simply and concisely I would like to think your H would understand that's the safety you need and the safety he's been threatening... If he can recognize that you need someone who can "stand the heat" I think you two can connect on a much deeper level...
He may realize the guy that can't "stand the heat" is someone he doens't want to be...
You can introduce your DD into the conversation as well as an example...
What kind of guy do you want our daughter marrying? Presumably someone who can "stand the heat? That's all I'm looking for too... Can you do that for this family eventually?"
He may try to tell you that someone that divorces isn't necessarily someone who can't stand the heat... I would not at all be surprised if he tried to take up arms to defend waywards as this article may portray them as weak or cowardly... Might want a good response to that too...
Regarding the sex thing... My advice is to offer modest amounts of sexual interaction for modest amounts of non-sexual affection... I won't get into examples on THIS one, but I think you get where I am going...
Women know how to work with a man and NOT go all the way... Women know how to get their needs met in small while meeting men's needs in small as well... That's what I will say on that one...
