Ok, I took a brief time-out and got some perspective. The real question is this: What can I do tonight/tomorrow morning that won't make me resent Mr. A (even more!) if he bails on me tomorrow?
1) I can start dealing with the laundry. I *HATE* putting away laundry, but it needs to be done and I always feel better after. I'll just do as much as I can easily stand and not push myself.
2) I can primp til I get tired. I love primping. I have eye masks, cheek masks, neck masks, EVERYTHING! And I love to pamper myself with them. So I can just do that til I get tired. Sometimes I get uptight about it and say, Oh - I must totally beautify myself tonight (like I did before our last court hearing!). Well I won't do that tonight. I'll just be good to myself!
Bottom line: Mr. A and I are divorced. He did it but *I* am still willing to talk to him. If I do anything for him that he doesn't request of me, then the onus is on me to deal with it if he doesn't react in the way I hope he will. That's the sum total of my responsibility right now - simply to own *my* contributions and expectations.
