Here's a story...of a very sad lady

[Dagny-2]

What a 24 hours, probably the worst of my life. H came home and we had dinner as a family. The boys went to play video games and we followed to tell them.

H did just about all the talking and even followed the notes my C had given me. The boys were devastaed, S11 just sobbed and sobbed, when H said this isn't about you, it is about me, S13 lashed out, this is about us, this effects our entire life. S11 later told me, "I didn't even see it coming" and poor S13 whispered to me, "Don't worry mom, it can still turn out how we want." Thet remember from last time, when H left and then came back. But last time he didn't have a girlfriend. H also told the boys they were the most important thing in the world to him, but that is such a lie, he is choosing a new person over them and us. I told H this morning that he could still stop this nonsense and choose us over her, I got met with a cold stare. I probably should stop saying things like that, but I can't help it. I'm not begging, just stating things as fact.

Since he cares so much about them and helping them through this, he left at noon today to be with OW. The rejection is overwhelming. I have moments of clarity where I feel strong, but then these horrible moments of weakness where I want my old life back, before OW, the good times when we laughed and enjoyed each other's company.

This is real. He is gone. The exhaustion of knowing the future I had planned is no longer a reality is overwhelming. But I have two boys to take care of and I must be strong. I just have to figure out how to be strong. What I need to do to get through the days without calling him or texting him or emailing him. The 3 must-not-dos. I need to take control and not be reactive to his moves. I guess this is goal setting time.

Dagny