I think it's OK to let go

[Mystik]

I have the Fix It bug, too. And it's hard having the feeling you need to fix something but it's not there to be fixed.

[TimeHeals]

On another thread, folks were discussing where to go with their life, and how to think of it as a new chapter, and my response is today's journal entry:

I had those same thoughts, those same feelings, and I was telling myself the same thing until only a couple of days ago.

As I sat on my patio, I watched my two dogs "playing". They are shar-peis so "playing" resembles a dog fight minus the blood and chunks of fur flying.

And then it hit me. Ummm... I am just living my life. What I do in the next minute, hour, day or week isn't really of any monumental, life-changing consequence. I doubt anybody will want to write books about it.

Sure it's good to set goals, keep fit, stay rested, and make plans and enjoy life. Isn't that what everybody who isn't helplessly dysfunctional is doing anyway?

There is nothing that makes this moment in my life "more special" or signifant than any other time in my life. Imagining life having a ticking clock counting down the seconds of my life and driving a sense of urgency wasn't a good way to live my own life.

So I am getting divorced. So what? A woman I thought I loved and who I thought loved me didn't love me anymore. Big deal.

And then I continued to sit there watching the dogs while I finished my morning coffee.

[Espr444]

Hey TimeHeals,
Thanks for your advice; all of this stuff is tough. I know your advice is probbly right. No R talk & stick to our S.

We were going to meet Mon. After I get out of work, But not sure as I have a 5pg. term paper due Tues & need to focus. I think I will push it to Fri. I'm going to post a new thread "Need Advice for Monday" I just want to get more thoughts and advice.

[FindingMyVoice]

Ehh, I appreciate your concern, and my appetite (if not my wasteline) appreciates the virtual lasagna, but I am already feeling better. ... I got up before the referee could count to 2 this time

Not surprised to hear it actually. You sound like the resilient sort. Just take care not to let your experiences make you too tough, hey Time? The right one will come along one of these days. Try to keep your heart open...I'd hate for you to miss out.

[KellBell0820]

I had those same thoughts, those same feelings, and I was telling myself the same thing until only a couple of days ago.

As I sat on my patio, I watched my two dogs "playing". They are shar-peis so "playing" resembles a dog fight minus the blood and chunks of fur flying.

And then it hit me. Ummm... I am just living my life. What I do in the next minute, hour, day or week isn't really of any monumental, life-changing consequence. I doubt anybody will want to write books about it.

Sure it's good to set goals, keep fit, stay rested, and make plans and enjoy life. Isn't that what everybody who isn't helplessly dysfunctional is doing anyway?

There is nothing that makes this moment in my life "more special" or signifant than any other time in my life. Imagining life having a ticking clock counting down the seconds of my life and driving a sense of urgency wasn't a good way to live my own life.

So I am getting divorced. So what? A woman I thought I loved and who I thought loved me didn't love me anymore. Big deal.

And then I continued to sit there watching the dogs while I finished my morning coffee.

This is brilliant and true TH, thank you for that.

[TimeHeals]

Try to keep your heart open...I'd hate for you to miss out.

I believe my heart is open. I just took a few steps backward this week only to rediscover that they only way to let go is to... let go

[FindingMyVoice]

I believe my heart is open.

Glad to hear it. I think I'd just gotten a little concerned when I read this...

So I am getting divorced. So what? A woman I thought I loved and who I thought loved me didn't love me anymore. Big deal.

So often I hear of people trying to suppress their hurt feelings by denying that the cause of them meant anything to them in the first play - that 'Yah you hurt me but I don't care about you anyways' response, you know? Was just worried that this may be where you'd been heading. But it's so hard to tell from someone's writings sometimes - it only gives part of the whole story right? Anyways hope your weekend is going well, hope you got out to see the crazy statue guy. Take care. PG.

[pinhead]

TH,

Remember when you let go, have someplace soft to land. Recoil is a bitch...

[TimeHeals]

Remember when you let go, have someplace soft to land. Recoil is a bitch...

I have a cool crib, two dogs with a ton of character who love me to death, my parents and a future of whatever opportunities I choose to expose myself to, so I think I'll be OK.

[TimeHeals]

Journaling:

Thought for the day: "Change vs Progress"

People often mistake change for progress. Without an eye toward likely future consequences, it's very possible to make change that is going backward.

We see this often with WAS that go on a self-destructive bent when they leave their marriages: they may be changing, but sometimes they are definitely not making progress.

On the other hand, we see LBSs who refuse to embrace change who just get stuck, and this can turn into a fruitless excercise with mounting legal fees, cancelled non-refundable "romatic" vacations that are ill-conceived attempts at rekindling the flame of romance when there is nothing left there, and so on.

In the latter case, embracing change--within reason and with an eye always toward efforts likely to yeild positive results--is the best path to progress.

In my personal case, I think I fall into the latter category. There is nothing left to be gained from not embracing the change, and there is much to be lost (time, money, peace of mind) by resisting change.