Right--it sucks and I'm not about to let him off easy in any way, shape, or form.
Which leads me to today's scenario. H is back from his parents and per usual is asking S what he wants to do today--beach or movie? NOw, for MONTHS he has taken S from me with no invite or anything--and they were trying to get a friend of S's to go with but couldn't get anyone out of bed. (teenagers!)
So then H asks me if I want to go to the beach. I figured already I wasn't going to be invited, had made plans to help the 17 y/o neighbor with her AP English paper due Monday, and just in general had not thought I was going to be asked.
Oh, H spent 20 minutes outside on his phone this a.m. speaking to idiot friend--only reason to spend 20 minutes outside speaking is to discuss how he is going to screw me--I guess that is mind reading but honestly--he doesn't usually talk to this guy so long outside unless there is stuff he doesn't want me to hear.
So I said I had plans and he gives me a "I can't believe you don't want to spend time with your S". So I am like, look, I haven't had breakfast, I am not ready, you asked everyone else in the world and NOW are asking me, don't lay a guilt trip on me because NOW you are asking!
So he is like "We're in no hurry, we'll wait for you".
So I rush around getting ready and I start getting really, really sad. Was he planning on using this against me if I DIDN'T go? What "plans" does he have now to screw me?? Why am I going to the beach with him acting like we are the happy family when he doesn't WANT me in his family???
So I told S I wanted to talk to him and H and I said quietly to S, this isn't going to be pretty--please understand I have to be tough on your dad right now.
So I told them both, Gee, I would LOVE to have been invited to the beach and gone like a happy family with BOTH of you, but here's the deal. Your dad served me with papers last Wed, he doesn't WANT me as a part of his family, he wants something else or someone else and this all makes me really, really sad. S, I am sorry this is happening to you but this is the consequenenses of your dad's actions. I can't go to the beach today knowing your dad spent 20 minutes on the phone this a.m. trying to figure out how to take you from me or figuring out how to screw me financially.
I don't know if I mentioned on here that my H is going for primary custody, doesn't want to pay any alimony, and doesn't want to pay any custody all per the paperwork I was served with on Wednesday. My L says he is taking a very, very aggressive stance.
So my H gets mad and leaves and I grab S and tell him again, I love his dad, I am SO SORRY to do this, I am fine, please understand I have to try to make him see what he is doing and hopefully one day we will be a real family again, etc. My S is upset but I do think he sees what I am doing--I have been talking to him all along telling him I have to be very, very tough right now--my H DOES RESPOND to my being tough.
I did have a bit of emotion in there too while speaking to him. I am trying to balance this. Can't have too much crying.
Anyhoo, I know I am walking a pretty fine line here--I don't want to do damage to my S and if this does go through, I don't want my S to be scarred for life. I will have to be the bigger person and not talk badly about his dad....which...as long as he doesn't try to take my S from me and doesn't screw me financially, is do-able.
I mean, you can want a D and all but do you HAVE to be ugly about it? You make a ton of money- it would be EASY for him to treat me very, very fairly!! And I don't need primary--50/50 is fine w/me.
