Having your son home safe and sound will take some stress off from both of you. I know when my SS gets back from a deployment I breathe a sigh of relief and thank God for bringing him safely home.
Please thank him for his service for me as a fellow American and mom of a serviceman.
I'm so glad to hear that you had a better day. Yes, keep walking your path.
Thank you for your sons service as well. Virginia seemed very different and happy yesterday. She was also very nice compared to the way it has been. I know there are going to be ups and downs but I will continue to walk the path. Bobby O
I have spent the last several days doing housework and just staying busy. I have remained busy and have been polite like I would be to a friend around my wife. Today, my wife said I was nice, but was it the calm before the storm. I believe the storm is the anger that has been building up all these months. I remained silent and just listened. My wife said that I had been controlling during our marriage and that I would not enlist her help for solving problems. She was right but I just listened and said nothing. She told me she was moving out and that she hoped to move out in the several weeks once she finds a place. She asked me about my lawyers and I told her I had notified the lawyers I was not filing. She says she is filing but do not know that to be true or if she is saying it to be sure I know what she means. She begins classes and I am sure that will consume her time. I told her I could take Katie around today to give her time to do what she has to. For me, I believe my anger has been a problem to control with all of this going on. In any case she has seen a change and I hope to keep it consistant and just hear what she says. I do not know if it is too late or not but I will continue to work on me and hope for the best. Bobby O
You seem to be aware that you had anger issues in the past. Have you ever considered an anger management course. Not to show your W that your taking it, but for yourself? Let her find out you are trying to change for the better on her own, just do it for yourself.
An MLC'er also will not believe the changes. She will want to see that the changes are permanent. There are no "tricks" here or tactics that will change anything. So you are correct that you must continue to work on you. When your wife is ready, at some date down the road, she will look again to see if your changes were real or just some illusion to get her back.
I did not mean to give the impression I have anger management issues. I am saying that I hide anger well and it is rare that I will explode. What I meant to say that I do feel alot of resentment and anger. I realized that it is counter productive. I have instead planned to channel those feelings into positive things. I know that I will be faced with cycles and that I have to be consistent. I appreciate everyone helping me. Bobby O
You've been doing great by really listening to your W when she initiates a R talk. Just remember to validate her also. It doesn't mean that you agree with her, but that you understand that those are her feelings.
Well last night my wife informed me that she is moving out on September 3. She started school yesterday and seems overwhelmed.I had prepared dinner and help off load her by doing chores around the house. I told her that if she leaves it is her free will. I told her I was not forcing her out. I still have not been served any papers and I dont know how she plans to move without financial support that has not been agreed to. I was wondering if this is another form of punishment for me to see how I would react with the news. I have not seen her put things in boxes or do anything for that matter other than study. Time will tell me what happens. This is very frustrating to me. In one breath she said she was thinking about staying with me ( 2 days ago) and now she is leaving. I am very confused. Bobby O
