John, do you want to know what your W is thinking? Then listen to me.....and hear what the mind of a WAW would think. She would think, "OMG! John is so disgusting with his pathetic self and all his crying. He makes me sick! I don't know what I ever saw in him." She would think much more than this and even though these words are harsh...your WAW is thinking even worse.

You are so screwed up right now with all the DB lingo and you don't know one DB principle from the other. You just need to keep your mouth shut and don't say a darn word to her.....except that you think she may be right about the M and single life is looking pretty good to you. I know you won't do it but you should! That is the only thing that is going to get the slightest bit of positive attention from her.

She told you to not distrub her after she went to bed and so when Lotus talks to you about the retreat, you go in at 2:00 a.m. to ask your W if she'd agree to it. That made you look like a little desparate boy. Stop it! Leave her alone!

Quote:
I start to really detach


You've never detached!! You don't know what detaching is...and futhermore, you don't WANT to detach! You don't have the b@lls to detach b/c you want to hang on her skirt-tail and whimper and hope she'll come around. You've got your head so far up her behind that you can't see she's in another A, and you don't want to believe it anyway. She had three that you know about....what's to stop her from having more?

Think about it John....the timeframe of when she left to go to Walmart and "sat" in the car was about the same time that you came home after date-night and she was ready to leave you. She is making her A contact during those times. Her OM was probably dropping her sorry a$$ was why she was so clingly to you after her little meltdown, then something else happened when you left her alone and went out. Didn't you find it odd that she was so "fine" with you leaving her to go out after she'd been on a date with you? Fact is, she knew as soon as you left that freed her up for a contact. Also, she was fine with being transparent with email b/c she doesn't have any to OM....but she asked more than once if you were sure you didn't check her phone (her boundary object). Wake-up John.

BTW, do your crying in the bathroom or the back woods but don't do it in front of your 4 yr old baby boy. He needs to "see" a strong man filling the role of his father.

If you want your son 50% of the time, then go for it. It's the 21st Cen.and why women think they auto get custody is crazy. But it's "you" that is handing her the reigns in all of that.

Don't tell her you are still fighting to save the M. Stop with all that cr@p. Just shut up, stand up, and man up.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!