I don't think the two camps are that much different. The way Imlin described this is very wise! You DO need to pave the way for him to be able to come back. It is how you do it that is key. Imlin's husband was the vanishing type and she handled it extremely well. Not being needy, or pushing, controlling. But she also paved the way for his return. Once the door is shut, it is extremely hard to open it back up.
You must remember that you are dealing with a child. An adult person, who is acting like a child.
Trust your intuition. When the time is right you can give a nudge in the right direction.
