Thank you. I believe that he doesn't think it could work (he can't see how it could) but he is also not ready to call it quits yet either. He doesn't want me to rush back and set up a new life in our home town yet.
Knowing OW is out of the picture is very freeing. There is one email account he has that I don't know the password to right now but I can see the nonstop texting has ended. I feel less paralyzed. I want to be the mom that I envision myself to be in my head - much more active with them, engaging them all day instead of sitting like a lump half the time on the sofa. They start 3 morning a week in preschool in Sept so that will give me more time to myself to make appointments.
I have an appt with a pysch on Monday and I'm hoping to get something to help me sleep. Also joining the Y and have set some realistic weight loss goals for myself. If I go move back home as a single FT working mom I won't be able to do this then, only maintain whatever I can do now, so I do feel the pressure of taking on this challenge right now.
He is on call at the hospital this weekend and I did have to contact him since our youngest woke with one eye swollen shut, but I kept the text about her and polite and to the point. I don't intend to contact or pursue anymore. Next up I plan to start to reread the Divorce Remedy book tonight when they are asleep. I read it before but have a different mindset now that our situation has changed.
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10