The obsession wtih death is part of her disorder.. that's what she's trying to ultimately avoid by all the cleaning...

She's ill... you need to research OCD, particularly germ avoiant and safety hypervigilance

BLAME is a problem in itself, it doesnt' allow a marriage to function.. BLAMING PEOPLE just CONTAMINATES marriage...

Its not about him blaming something else other than the marriage, its about him GROWING up to NOT BLAME in teh first place