Punkin, I feel that your H has been trying is assert his control of the situation (and you) by his recent actions. He says he wants to get on with his life, and whether or not this is true, you should let him have ownership of his words. He wants to 'get on with his life' so let him go. Let him experience exactly what he says he wants.......
If you suggest that he comes home you have enabled his behaviour....he sees that you will tolerate his poor behaviour. This is not the relationship you want. You deserve so much more.
My db coach told me, ages ago that H was in a fog and I was the lighthouse. There was no need for me to chase H into the fog. I needed to be the one to shine. My actions towards H would show him he was safe with me and help him on the path back but at his pace.
I know you just want the pain over but having H back in these circumstances unfortunately won't have the peaceful resolution you desire.
