That we need to be around each other in some way, or family vacation at XMAS is going to be rough.
Do you really think she wants to go on vacation with you?
Why do you want to go on vacation with her?
IS this really letting her go?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.