Bustorama-Thread 1

[bustorama]

Journaling:

W called me in AM to remind me about something about one of our girls' preschool. Then called me on her way home from work. Asked what I was up to and said there was a BBQ that afternoon at her apartment complex with raffles and stuff. Told her I was getting my haircut and was thinking of going for a hash run (on! on!) afterwards. She said again about the apartment BBQ and said how some mutual friends of ours would be there and she was going to go with the girls. I asked her if she was inviting me and wanted me to come. She said, if you want to come, you can. I again asked her if SHE was inviting me and she wanted me to come and she said "yes, even though it was my 'free night' [read, night without girls]. I told her I would come and we should make some cocktails and partay it up.

So I get there and we have a decent time at the BBQ hanging out with our friends. I take the girls to playground for a lil while with my buddy and his boys so she can chat with her girlfriend. After BBQ, we walk back to her apartment and say bye to our friends. I go up and help get girls ready for bed and tuck them in. At one point during this, she comes in and takes her bra off and starts looking at her boobs in the mirror in front of me (post-surgery). I go over and have a look and caress her tummy and side briefly, then go back to putting kids to bed. Then say I'm gonna make some cocktails would she like a Captains and Pepper. She says yes and I cut her a piece of cheesecake she made a couple of nights before.

We hang out and talk some. I can tell she is a little nervous and sort of "hiding" behind her mobile phone plucking away at facebook in between conversation. I am quiet and don't push conversation. She opens up and admits that she is scared and sometimes uses facebook as a safety wall between us. I say I understand that you are scared, I totally get that. I know that you use facebook on your mobile as a wall to feel safe and as a tool to cope with anxiety. I get that, and it's ok. I tell her I will do anything I can to help her feel more safe and secure, and if there's anything she wants to talk about ever I am all ears.

We start talking more about more random stuff and she shares some of her facebook world with me. Then she starts telling me a story about one of her exes. I used to be too jealous to listen to stories she wanted to tell me about her exes, but I no longer am. At some point she asks if I had heard the story, and I said no. She remarks that before I wouldnt ever let her tell me about them and I wouldnt want to hear them. I tell her yes I am sorry for not letting you share that with me before, I am not like that anymore and appreciate your telling me this. She goes on with the story.

At some point, I lift the blanket covering her legs and start massaging her feet and legs. She extends her legs to me and says hesitantly that this doesnt mean she wants to reconcile that she is still unsure what she wants. I tell her I understand that she is very scared and it's ok, I am happy to massage her legs. She nods, and I rub her feet and legs with lotion for 30-45 mins while we talk and mellow out.

At some point she says, she needs to drink her parsley tea (something to help her with the post-surgery inflammation). I get up and make it for her. Then she says she is sleepy. I had noticed her bedsheets weren't on the bed, and I take them out of the dryer and make her bed up while she is in the mirror popping little pimples. At one point while she is doing this she drops her panties and I tell her her pooper still looks great. She gives a half-hearted stop it, and I teasingly say YOU stop it. After a few minutes, she pulls her panties back up (sheer so I can still see her ass anyway), and I tell her her panties are hot. Give her a little slap on the ass as I walk by her into the bathroom once I'm done with the bed.

After a little more chit chat I tell her I am taking off. We hug mutually and she says goodnight sweetly. Generally good day, I guess, though I question if I am pursuing too much and/or being too much Mr. Nice Guy. I rationalize that it's not like the begging/pleading/change your mind kind of pursuit, it's more the flirty bucket filling stuff? Thoughts?