Training for a Marathon, Hoping for a Sprint

[lookin4support]

Well folks, we are just about through. I probably need to move to the Surviving the Big D forum.

She texted me today about something and I asked her when I should expect her to sign the finals papers, which I sent her by email on Tuesday. She texted back that she had signed them yesterday and mailed them to my attorney. All that is left is me signing them, taking them to the courthouse, and appearing on the date set by the court. She doesn't even have to come since she has agreed to everything by signing the papers.

I have to admit, when I got the text from her telling me she had signed, a little bit of me died. I have done a good job of GAL and have maintained the boundaries I set a few weeks ago, but I guess, deep down, I still held out hope that she would change her mind. Now, that hope is gone and reality has firmly set in.

I will be fine. My small group has been a tremendous help, as have you, Puppy. This wasn't the sprint I was looking for, but sometimes in life we don't get what we want. It is time for me to become the man I have always wished I could be and to do the things that I didn't because they didn't fit with her schedule and preferences. I pick up my Harley tomorrow morning and I am planning my first destination golf excursion for Spring Break 2011. I think I am going to Hawaii to play on some of the ocean-view courses there. She dislikes flying, hates being near the ocean, and prefers to either staycation or stay in the Midwest, so these are things I would have never done if we had stayed together.

I refuse to allow this situation to dictate how I will approach the rest of my life. Thanks to all of you for helping me on the path to living my life for myself, correcting me when I was clearly pursuing my WAW, and encouraging me when I was down. I owe all of you a debt of gratitude.