Need some encouragement

[kissak]

Thanks Trusting and Punkin.

I kinda feel that he isnt telling me stuff so he wont upset me. BUT, I hate not knowing.


Tonight was weird. I came home, fixed supper...H told me he got this job he put in a proposal for. We were both happy about that. Then later he started getting antsy. Again, most of the night he was texting someone. He didnt hide it at all this time. I said nothing. I was just annoyed by it. He later said he was extremely bored. Then layed in the floor and watched tv. After a few, I got up and went to lay in the floor beside him, but first I went in to give him a kiss and he stopped me and said "not right now". Talk about hurt. Yes, My feeling were just that. I just got up and walked away. He told me not to walk away, but I had to. I did come back into the room with him after I calmed down abit, then he asked me what was wrong. I told him he hurt my feelings. He said nothing.

By this point....Ive had it. Now, I then go to bed....after about an hour of laying there, he comes into the bedroom, starts getting dressed. I asked what he was doing, He said he was going riding, maybe even go drink a beer. He said he was so bored he was having anxiety attacks...said that He knew I probably didnt understand that, but he was. He came to me and told me to give him a kiss and he left. I said nothing.

Earlier, he was taking a bath...no, he isnt really the type that showers, he rather take a nice relaxing bath...lol, but I walked in our room and listened to him for a minute....he was tapping his hands to a rhythm on the sides of the tub (there was no music playing) ....so reminded me of a teenager.

I dont get any of this or where its coming from all of a sudden, but here I am on a Friday night...alone again.

I would have gladly gotten a sitter for the night and we could have done something. But he never asks to do anything with me.

Im at the point of going over speeches in my head of why I dont really care if he stays or goes anymore. Not that he has said he wants to leave at all, but this trust thing is big and all I see are red flags right now. Im not quick to give up, but another few weeks of this and I just may.