I went outside after the kids were in bed to talk to him and reaffirm my boundary. I was ready to say that if you can't cut off contact you need to pack your bag Monday night and all and he tossed the phone on my lap and said he already did. I can take the phone, he gave me his passwords and said he wouldn't contact her.
To summarize a long discussion - 1.5 hours I think - he realizes the friendship crossed a boundary. But for him, she is the one who got him through each day. She was someone who could relate to what it is like to tell a patient's family they will not make it. He had one especially difficult case with a kid today and she helped him through it and he said then later he had to tell her not to ever contact him again. He said it did go to far though and we both wished that he had found that friendship with another man instead.
I know he's sad about not having her but he did not say he resents me. He doesn't think we will work out though. He doesn't feel much like trying. He said we would be better friends if we were divorced. He doesn't know what is best for the kids - a 'polite marriage' in front of them or a divorce. He knows I am confident it could work and that I am not willing to leave town just yet because to me that would be sealing the deal and I'm not ready to be done yet. I don't feel I can tell my girls I tried all that I could - or that WE tried all we could.
We have left it as we are leaving everything alone for a few days. I intend to not really talk to him until he approaches me. We will be polite in front of the kids and eat dinners and all but at nights we will go to our separate corners. I am going to focus on myself now (I told my friends Mission MILF begins Monday when I join the Y).
I'm still confident from reading stories here that this can be turned around. I'm going to GAL starting now. What else should I do in this situation?
Me 32 H 32 Ds 3.5 and 1.5 M 5 years, T 14 years EA/Bomb: 7/1/10 PA revealed: 9/14/10 Legally separated: 10/01/10
