Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

Therein lies the $10,000 question. What should I do that I have no regrets? I think that no matter which choice I make, I'm going to have regrets.

[TulsaTime]

I'm not understanding what regrets you might have with each choice?

[Mystik]

I may regret choosing to initiate the proceedings, I may regret whichever grounds I choose to file under, I may regret not filing and letting H file no-fault.

[TimeHeals]

I think that no matter which choice I make, I'm going to have regrets.

If you keep looking back, accepting all of the guilt, beating yourself up, yes ... you will.

You have to forgive yourself first, and then to resolve to live your life by moral priciples of honor, integrity and strength to minimize the need for much regret, and you have to adjust to spend more time looking forward and planning and doing things for the future while taking time to enjoy the present and stop looking back so much, and when you do look back occassionally, look back and remember the good things that have happened in your life.

[Virtually_Handsome]

I may regret choosing to initiate the proceedings, I may regret whichever grounds I choose to file under, I may regret not filing and letting H file no-fault.

I am guessing in five years, it won't matter. I think you might be overthinking a bit.

[TulsaTime]

1. You don't have to initiate anything right now if you don't want to. Just make sure you get to a place where you won't regret it.

2. This is what I don't understand. Will it go better legally if you filed with the truth?

[Mystik]

I do need to reach the point where it won't matter whether I file or not or what grounds are used. Legally, I don't know what would be better.

As to what is better legally? I have no idea what will go better.

[Mystik]

I think the added medication is helping, I'm feeling more balanced. Doesn't mean I know what I should or should not do, though. But I'm not on the brink of tears all the time anymore.

[Mystik]

I have a question. Legally I know that H's affair is just that, an affair, because we are still legally married, no separation in place or anything. However H feels it is not an affair, that he did not cheat on me because he had moved out six months prior to admitting to dating her. However I feel that Whore was in the picture long before he moved out, that she was the reason he chose not to put serious work into repairing our marriage after my discoveries of is on-line actions in June of 2009.

So is it still an affair if it did begin, as he claims it did, after he had moved out even though no legal papers were signed?

[TimeHeals]

Why don't you get an attorney? What does it cost? Maybe 1500 bucks if it's uncontested? Maybe more?

If money is tight, then there's a goal: get money, get attorney.