Need some encouragement

[kissak]

I forgot to mention the last few days H has been sending me texts occasionally that say "guess your busy" when I dont text him much. Thing is, he has been in class all week and takes forever to respond to any texts I send him and he knows I wont text when he is busy with classes. Its like he constantly wants me texting him...when I do, I get little response. UGh, feel like we are drifting backwards a little. I hope this stage moves on quickly, whichever way it goes.

[LanceSijan]

. I hope this stage moves on quickly, whichever way it goes.

Don't count on that, this is MLC, afterall, everything is slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

[kissak]

so true!! Look how long its taken already

[kissak]

Fixen to go home. Kinda nervous to see what kind of mood he is in today. Havent talked to him since this morning.

My daughter is having freshman orientation tonight. I will be taking her. H will go if I want him too, but my son doesnt want to go, he wants to stay home and spend time with daddy...so H is all about staying home now. I hate that he never does this stuff with me and our daughter. I always seem to go it alone with her.

[BeginningAgain]

Fixen to go home. Kinda nervous to see what kind of mood he is in today. Havent talked to him since this morning.

Just put your "as if" attitude on and stroll in the door chipper and happy. You set the mood for the evening, don't let him.

My daughter is having freshman orientation tonight. I will be taking her. H will go if I want him too, but my son doesnt want to go, he wants to stay home and spend time with daddy...so H is all about staying home now. I hate that he never does this stuff with me and our daughter. I always seem to go it alone with her.

This I don't understand. What parent would NOT want to go to hear what his child is going to experience as they start something as important as High School. Besides going together communicates to your daughter that you are a team that is there to support her. I hope he goes.

BA

[kissak]

Thanks BA, but he didnt go. I wish he had, but nothing I can do about that now.

His mood was ok. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Just like any other day really. Although I didnt really see him long at all, because I left to take our daughter to her orientation and he left later for a meeting at the ems/fire building.

Ive been really nervous though. I hate not knowing what to expect. But I did act "as if". I acted very chipper and happy.

Here comes the weekend....my dad invited us out to go fishing at an island about an hour from here. I asked if he wanted to go...he said maybe so. I hope so...my family involves us so much more than his. His family has been going to the islands off the coast here all summer and they NEVER invite us or the kids. It bothers him alot, but he will never say anything to them. SO im hoping he will go and spend some time with my family.

He has therapy on Monday...cant wait for him to go and talk about things with her. She always seems to help him.

[punkin]

Kissak,

I don't believe I've ever posted on your stich before, but so much of what you say reminds me of my H when he went through his first crisis back in 2002. Dreading coming home because you never knew what mood he'd be in. Walking around on eggshells. My H has a drinking problem, which made it all worse. H was always too busy to do anything like school orientation.

I wish I could be more insightful, but after a long period of time, he simply 'snapped out of it'. I believe this is due in part to having to get ready to deploy to Iraq. While it gave me my husband back, it simply prolonged the inevitable.

[Mila]

Hi Kissak, I'm sorry that you are going trough issues with your H.

I did notice your post about OW being single again and my gut feeling is that this is what is rattling your H. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are in contact, but he obviously still has issues about that relationship that he needs to work out within himself.

Reading your recent posts and your H behavior reminded me of the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus". How men when they have a problem need time alone to think about them and process them and to do that they go off to their "caves" and don't come out and talk about what's bothering them until they are done processing (hence the locked bathroom and sitting in the car). Women on the other hand see that something is wrong and try to find out what it is and talk about it, which makes the man withdraw even more into his cave because he is not ready to talk about it.....

If you didn't read that book get it....it may give you some insight into the male/female communication dynamics.

((((hugs))))

[kissak]

Thanks Punkin and Mila

The thing is Punkin, that I did the eggshells thing, and all, in the beginning, but since he has been home (Since April) its been really good. No eggshells or anything! Its only recently that I have sensed something going on.

I really believe he is hiding something from me. Just dont know what it is yet. Im being very careful and still have some walls up about all of this.

Mila, Youre right on about him still have issues to work out about his feelings about the OW...he did admit to that. He told me that he didnt care about the OW and the bf breaking up, he said he found it funny, but that it was affecting him and he didnt know why.

I do remember him sitting on the couch with me earlier this week kinda making a noise, like he was thinking about something....I asked what was it...he said he was just thinking...I said what, he then replyed that it was nothing major, just that he wouldnt tell me.

So, Dont know whats up.

[TRUSTING]

Kissak,

I am sorry this is happening, but you are a pro. You know what to do, don't let his change in behavior change what you do with your life or your day to day actions. His behavior should not control yours. A lot of ML'ers test the LBS...

Hugs.