There's a part of me that loves my W. This is self obvious. How do I show that love to her when she is treating me with such disrespect? A component of love is friendliness, caring about someones personal life, being physically in the same location, connecting through talking, etc...
While my W continues to treat me as she is, I can not keep my dignity and my boundaries in tact AND show love.
(Bear with me, this is a work in progress since you pointed us in this direction)
Instead I choose to love me. I will treat her with respect but I am not interested in being friends with her, helping her, being there for her, etc...
If she changes her behavior to me then I will then look at my boundaries and adjust them according to MY goals/wants and needs.
I'm thinking love lets go, allows people to do and be who they are, allows them to walk the path they are on. When her path conflicts with mine then I need to create a boundary.
Strength stands up and does the right thing regardless of what people think. My W may be totally pissed off at my boundary and it could drive her further away - I will keep my boundary regardless because it is there for my protection and not for her benefit or to get some kind of reaction out of her.
Even if she doesn't respect me for drawing the boundary I keep it there for something more important - my self respect.
